Capturing the market for evil

A Wired article takes a humorous assessment of how Google could capture the evil market in search, pointed out by Blogscoped.
The worldwide market for evil is stratospheric, and Google is uniquely positioned to take advantage of it.
Note, lest one mistakenly think I'm aligning myself with the underground Googlephobia movement, the humor works here as a parody of exaggerated criticisms, rather than a ploy to advance them. For fun.
Google Torture
Sure, Google provides access to nearly all the public information on the web, but what about data people aren't willing to share? Google could enhance its core search engine by deploying goons and/or thugs to beat information out of people -- anything from the location of their valuables to interesting sports trivia.